Medical Condition: OBESITY
Yep that is what I see every time I log on to my medical account. That was added to my chart 9 years ago.
Every time I saw that one word ... I felt like such a failure. Ashamed. Fat! Why couldn't I control my eating? Why couldn't I be healthy and slim. I'm a good person ... I'm smart ... I'm not lazy ... I ran two businesses. I managed over 90 employees before the housing crash. But always always felt like a failure ... a stupid lazy cow. FAT!
I spent a lot of time and energy researching and trying one diet after another always kicking myself because I couldn't stick with it ... I couldn't commit ... I couldn't do it ... but I will say I kept trying ... always looking and trying something new ... the list was endless ... and all of it contradictory to what my doctor kept recommending. My doctor ALWAYS pointed back to the FDA guidelines ... I really did try ... I honestly tried ... I measured and weighed ... I bought low fat sugar free versions of everything! I lived on grapefruit and oatmeal one month ... I hate grapefruit.
Then I read a book "The Calorie Myth" I wasn't the failure ... THE GUIDELINES WERE WRONG ... What???? How is this possible???? My Doctor always pushed the guidelines ... I trusted my doctor! Why would I assume that the FDA or the
AHA would give out false information? OMG I'm not a failure ... I'm just a sucker! I was buying a boat load of crap!
I started reading labels ... and I decided I was only going to eat food that had identifiable ingredients like bacon, steak, broccoli and cabbage not thiamin mononitrate & sodium tripolyphosphate ... butter that has cream and salt instead of margarine made with vegetable oil blends and Vegetable mono and Diglycerides. What the hell is a Vegetable mono and Diglycerides anyway and why was I eating it?
I didn't change HOW I ate just WHAT I ate ... Seriously who would have ever thought that I could still be a volume eater and loose 70 pounds. Certainly not my doctor! Not my parents ... not my friends ... and definitely not me!
I haven't changed my relationship with food ... I still love food ... I still over indulge in food ...I still fantasize over food ... I still dream about food ... I still love food ... But I finally learned what food really is!!!
Now this doesn't mean that I will ever give up the equal in my coffee :)