still true

I found this while cleaning out some files today ... and it is still as true today as it was 2 years ago!  Thought I would share it with you

Today I am thankful

I am thankful for the husband who is on the sofa being a couch potato, because it means he is home with me.

I am thankful for the daughter that calls when she is bored or mad or needs to borrow something , because it means she still needs her mama.

I am thankful for the phone ringing in the best part of the movie because that means my mom and dad are still with me.

I am grateful for the chat box on my phone and computer because that means I can stay connected with my cousin who lives so far away.

I am thankful for the mess and toys to clean up when the grandson leaves, because that means I got to spend time with him.

I am thankful for the taxes I pay because it means I am employed.

I am thankful for the bed that needs to be made because it means I have a warm safe place to sleep.

I am thankful for the clothes that fit a little too snug because that means I have enough to eat.

I am thankful for the lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, bathrooms that need scrubbing and the carpet that needs vacuuming because that means I have a home

I am thankful for all the complaining I hear about the government because that means we have freedoms

I am thankful for the parking spot I found at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking and I have been blessed with transportation

I am thankful for the huge heating bill because that means I am warm

I am thankful for the never ending piles of laundry that needs to be washed, folded and put away because it means I have clothes to wear.

I am thankful the alarm that goes off too early in the morning hour because it means I have a job.

I am thankful that I can read this every day because that means I am alive!

Medical Condition

Medical Condition: OBESITY

Yep that is what I see every time I log on to my medical account. That was added to my chart 9 years ago.  

Every time I saw that one word ... I felt like such a failure.  Ashamed.  Fat!  Why couldn't I control my eating?  Why couldn't I be healthy and slim.  I'm a good person ... I'm smart ... I'm not lazy ... I ran two businesses.  I managed over 90 employees before the housing crash.  But always always felt like a failure ... a stupid lazy cow.  FAT!

I spent a lot of time and energy researching and trying one diet after another always kicking myself because I couldn't stick with it ... I couldn't commit ... I couldn't do it ... but I will say I kept trying ...  always looking and trying something new ... the list was endless ...  and all of it contradictory to what my doctor kept recommending.  My doctor ALWAYS pointed back to the FDA guidelines ...  I really did try ... I honestly tried ... I measured and weighed ... I bought low fat sugar free versions of everything!  I lived on grapefruit and oatmeal one month ... I hate grapefruit.

Then I read a book "The Calorie Myth"   I wasn't the failure ... THE GUIDELINES WERE WRONG ... What???? How is this possible???? My Doctor always pushed the guidelines ... I trusted my doctor!  Why would I assume that the FDA or the AHA would give out false information? OMG I'm not a failure ... I'm just a sucker!  I was buying a boat load of crap!  

I started reading labels ... and I decided I was only going to eat food that had  identifiable ingredients like bacon, steak, broccoli and cabbage not thiamin mononitrate & sodium tripolyphosphate  ... butter that has cream and salt instead of margarine made with vegetable oil blends and Vegetable mono and Diglycerides.  What the hell is a  Vegetable mono and Diglycerides anyway and why was I eating it? 

I didn't change HOW I ate just WHAT I ate ... Seriously  who would have ever thought that I could still be a volume eater and loose 70 pounds. Certainly not my doctor! Not my parents ... not my friends ... and definitely not me! 

I haven't changed my relationship with food ... I still love food ... I still over indulge in food ...I still fantasize over food ... I still dream about food ... I still love food ...  But I finally learned what food really is!!!

Now this doesn't mean that I will ever give up the equal in my coffee :)

NSV 3.7

Spent the day with my parents and grandsons!  Had the best best day!  

The best part of this weight loss journey???? 

I'm not missing out on days like this!  

I was able to chase and be chased by those two precious little boys by the hour.  

We played red light - green light... Simon "Says" and  Hop Scotch! 

 (we did discover this granny doesn't hop good). 

We also played climb Granny!

And not once did I have to sit out or disappoint those little guys!

When I look back and think of all the events and moments like this that I missed with my daughters I could cry.  Never ever again ... I may have been the mom in the back ... but his Granny is going to be front and Center!

Just another Non Scale Victory!  

We can all sit at the same table

Just spent three awesome days away from home ... hubby and I went to the annual Carpet Convention ... Now doesn't that just sound ubber exciting?  Well it was in Reno after all! 

I was so worried about staying on program while we were there ... but breakfast was easy.  Each morning they  set up a beautiful buffet and I will admit to filling my plate with more bacon than I normally would eat ... and with what was equivalent to one scrambled egg with cheese.  And don't forget the real butter and cream for my coffee!  The butter in my coffee got quite a few startled looks and it started quite a few conversations with our table mates. 

Lunch was an entirely different affair ... we were served a small dinner salad ... maybe a cup of lettuce 1 cherry tomato 1 cucumber slice and about 50 croutons covered in a creamy dressing that was unidentified ... so we skipped the salad and ignored the golden rolls!  Then the entree arrived!  Plopped right down in front of me.   It was a masterpiece!!!  A plate of some kind of curly noodles with chicken leg /thigh smothered in some kind of  gravy.  I have to say the presentation was gorgeous... the way they had it plated was stunning ... but it was the most unappetizing looking thing I seen.  Hubby and I looked at each other and smiled ... and said good by to our  table mates and we took a walk. 

Each night we opted to skip the festivities ... knowing what a feast they have always provided and how freely the drinks have always been in the past. SO eating was actually spot on ... considering that we ate food we did not prepare ourselves .

I was asked how I can stand to go through the buffet and not grab some of the waffles, or pastries ... let me tell you they were beautiful!  But they were in no way desirable!  The lady that I was talking to was actually apologizing for what was on her plate ... she was saying how she knows how hard it is to resist when you are sitting right next to it.  I had to think about it ... but OMG I didn't want any of that.  I could admire how pretty the display was ... and how artfully they had the table set up ... but I did not want any of it.  I WANTED THE BACON!

You know the last Convention that I went to one of the lunches that they sat in front of me was a fish concoction ... eyeballs and all ... I was ANGRY ... I did not have time to go find another meal ... I spent the rest of the day hungry and angry... This year it was no big deal ... Hubby and I said okay we can IF til dinner. And you know it wasn't a big deal.

You know what else was different?  Hubby and I could sit next to each other in the shuttle from the hotel to the convention center and neither one of us were uncomfortable ... and there wasn't one chair that I didn't fit comfortably.  And speaking of the convention center ... I did not need to sit once!  6 hours of continuous walking and standing and I never looked for a chair!

On the way home hubby said he was surprised at how comfortable I acted... I was engaged and outgoing.  And you know I was...  I was comfortable ... confident ... I did not stand behind hubby and let him do all of the talking... I was actually present!

This morning I stepped on the scale ... DOWN !!!  207.6

Now the most exciting news that I can share is 13 days ago my daughter committed to give up grains, starches and added sugar ... and this morning she announced she is down 13 pounds!!! 

Life is good! And its just getting better!